Hi I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was inspired by walking round Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result in another song? Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any feedback on the song or the recording of it? At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace later ) http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari James http://www.ukjay.co.uk
"UkJay" <> wrote in message news:... > Hi > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > inspired by walking round > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > in another song? > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > later ) > > http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari > > James > http://www.ukjay.co.uk > I went to the url and all three songs did not play. Cant give you an opinion if I cant hear it.
UkJay schreef: > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? With all due respect for a idea well developed and recorded with care, here are some remarks: - In terms of verse/chorus blocks, the chorus would be much stronger if it followed right after the verse. Remove a couple of these up-and-down chords that you have already plenty of. The final chorus could be repeated. - The vocals would have more room if the phased/chorused organ would stop during the verse. The organ attracts a lot of attention, and whether you like the sound or not is a matter of taste, but during the verse it should not detract from the vocals. Did you mix it with with headphones? I would push the organ way to the back anyway. - The balance between long, flowing notes and short, punctuating ones could be better. There is a funky guitar in the background in some parts, you could use that to counterbalance the organ. A real bass player would probably use many more short notes as well. This imbalance between instruments is exactly what makes it recognizable as a MIDI-based song, as opposed to one rehearsed by live musicians. - Also, it is usually a good idea to give the chorus a different instrumentation from the verse. Perhaps the drums should play a different pattern. - The second voice during the chorus is not always spot-on in sync with the lead vocals. Once you get the second voice right, turn it up a bit. There is a hook lurking there. - Halfway the last verse, the drums play a break that should not be there (it is ineffective in any case). - Finally, the intro uses all instruments at once as of bar one, beat one. It's long enough as it is, but maybe you could build it up a little. On the other hand, the fade-out could be stretched a little longer. I hope this makes sense. Jos. -- Ardis Park Music www.ardispark.nl
On Aug 26, 4:52 am, UkJay <> wrote: > Hi > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > inspired by walking round > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > in another song? > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > later ) > > http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari > > Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk This song is a prime example of an amateur demo. The arrangement is monotonous and there isn't enough rhythmic, harmonic or melodic movement to keep a listener interested for the entire length of the track. The musicianship was decent, especially the guitar work, but the main keyboard sound takes up way too much sonic real estate, and essentially drowns out everything else, including the lead vocals. It feels like you built the arrangement mix around a stagnant point (the keyboard line), which makes connecting with your audience very difficult. People need movement, anticipation, excitement from somewhere, and I don't see that in this track. You have several other things going on in the song that could become focal points as you progress through the arrangement, so try pulling some of them out from now and again to lead your listener through the song. Beef up your vocal sounds, too. They sound very weak and indistinct, particularly the BGVs. You have a good voice, I just feel like it isn't being presented in the best light. Put it out there, front and center...don't make it fight to be heard. Personally, I feel like you could have said everything you had to say in that song in a lot less time with a lot less "empty space". Just one man's opinion though.
You need a lot of help in the beat dept. Something that sounds electro should have a killer dance beat.
On Aug 26, 3:52 am, UkJay <> wrote: > Hi > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > inspired by walking round > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > in another song? > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > later ) > > http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari > > Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk Even without listening to it, do not EVER EVER EVER state publicly that your song "was inspired by x". If you ever did luck up and get a hit, you'd be giving easy target to someone else taking your royalties.
"UkJay" <> wrote in message news:... > Hi > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > inspired by walking round > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > in another song? > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > later ) > > http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari > > James > http://www.ukjay.co.uk The vocals are too low in the mix, the keyboard part is too loud, and the drums are too "cheap drum module" sounding. The song is really monotonous, mostly because of the keyboard sound and bass part. There are no dynamics in the song either. I'd suggest using that keyboard sound only in either the verse or chorus, and use something else to give the song a bit of variety. Bring the vocals up in the mix and bring the guitar up a bit as well.
>http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari Try another mix. First off, bring the vocals up. Stiffen up the harmonies in the refrain. There's a guitar noodling away in the background. Aren't there some places where it should be taking the lead? Shorten the whole song by about a minute. It has potential.
On Sun, 26 Aug 2007 08:59:57 -0500, "Six String Stu" <> wrote stuff and I replied: Sorry to start ther Top post/bottom post fight, but why do I have to scroll down through every message to get the lates news? This is emphasised when ALL the messages are includede in the preamble, and the last post is a 1 liner. It goes against all busib=ness reporting pratcice; show the most recent first and if the reader is interested they read the rest. If not then that's their worry. So. If you MUSAt bottom post, then at least minimise ther cRAP i HAVE TO SCROLL DOWN EVERY i HAVE TO READ EACH MESSAGE . > >"UkJay" <> wrote in message >news:... >> Hi >> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was >> inspired by walking round >> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) >> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result >> in another song? >> >> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any >> feedback on the song or the recording of it? >> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace >> later ) >> >> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari >> >> James >> http://www.ukjay.co.uk >> > I went to the url and all three songs did not play. Cant give you an >opinion if I cant hear it. > Human bevaviour: Bestiality with a brain
Hi again I've taken on board your feedback and would like to say THANKS for taking the time to listen to the track and to give the help I obviously needed. I have already started to re-mix, and came across a few mistakes I had made with a few things like picking the wrong vocal track and using the same channel for six backing vocals (doh) I am working on most of the problems you all pointed out, and hopefully I wont be in such a rush to mixdown this time. I also will try and add a few more things of interest, and also cut the length of the track down a bit, It was also nice to get some praise for the guitar work (thanks StudioRat81) it does help to give praise as well as criticism. James http://www.ukjay.co.uk On Aug 26, 9:52 am, UkJay <> wrote: > Hi > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > inspired by walking round > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > in another song? > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > later ) > > http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari > > Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk
> it does help to give praise as well as criticism. > > James > http://www.ukjay.co.uk True, but you're gonna get the obvious stuff pointed out first. It's the nature of the working/experienced muso's to think that way.....'gee, I need to hear more of..." JL
"OldNick" <> wrote in message news:... > On Sun, 26 Aug 2007 08:59:57 -0500, "Six String Stu" > <> wrote stuff > So. If you MUSAt bottom post, then at least minimise ther cRAP i HAVE > TO SCROLL DOWN EVERY i HAVE TO READ EACH MESSAGE . > Bottom posting is considered proper from, however, one should snip out all but the parts to which one is replying, as I did here.
"Mike Rieves" <> wrote in message news:l53Bi.38301$... > Bottom posting is considered proper from, however, one should snip out > all but the parts to which one is replying, as I did here. LOL! Yeh, Mike, you're the King of Snipping. Just look at this classic example with your one sentence gem at the bottom. "Mark" <> wrote in message news:... > On Jul 18, 3:32 pm, "ptooner" <> wrote: >> "Mike Rieves" <> wrote in message >> >> news:QXvni.481$... >> >> >> >> > "Glen" <> wrote in message >> >news:kYtni.8193$... >> >> wrote: >> >>> The Secret of Magic Tricks are revealed here! Learn street magic >> >>> tricks, bar magic tricks, card tricks, coin tricks, etc. Easy lessons >> >>> and magician secrets revealed. Dedicated for beginners who want to >> >>> start learning secret magic tricks step by step. >> >> >>>http://secretmagictricks.blogspot.com/ >> >> >> Is that what a sorceress hooker turns, magic tricks? >> >> >> ;-) >> >> Glen >> >> > Yeah, first, she magically makes things bigger, then she magically >> > makes >> > them smaller! >> >> Yeah, years ago I picked up a girl hitch hiking. I asked her what she >> did >> and she told me she was a witch. I said no kidding? She says "Yes, I >> can >> touch you and you'll turn into something". I said let's see and sure >> enough >> she touched me and I turned into a motel. ba da boom. >> >> Gerry > > A variation on one of my favorites.... > > I announce that I'm a magician. I then mention that, "Just the other > day I was walking down the street and I turned into a liquor store." > Changing the subject just abit, does anyone know why it is that we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
"Jim Carr" <> wrote in message news:N75Bi.222831$... > "Mike Rieves" <> wrote in message > news:l53Bi.38301$... > > LOL! Yeh, Mike, you're the King of Snipping. Just look at this classic > example with your one sentence gem at the bottom. How about this one? **** you, Jim!
"UkJay" <> wrote in message news:... > Hi > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > inspired by walking round > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > in another song? > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > later ) > > http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari Keyboard sound is kinda cheesy and overpowering. Vocals seem pitchy and definitely buried. Guitar solo is buried and doesn't seem to add anything. Overall it's predictable and not the least bit funky. To be honest I couldn't listen to the whole thing. Sometimes harsh criticism is needed. Just about everything is poorly done. It sounds like you have the germ of a catchy refrain, but that's about it.
On Aug 28, 11:38 pm, "Mike Rieves" <> wrote: > "Jim Carr" <> wrote in message > > news:N75Bi.222831$... > > > "Mike Rieves" <> wrote in message > >news:l53Bi.38301$... > > > LOL! Yeh, Mike, you're the King of Snipping. Just look at this classic > > example with your one sentence gem at the bottom. > > How about this one? **** you, Jim! Okay guys, take your foul mouths out of the soloact group and stop cross posting your garbage over here. Keep your filth over at the home studio group along with the porno mags you hide from your mom under the mattress. We have women, Ministers and even Jehovah Witness over here. So wash your foul mouths with soap and water before entering.
is there any possibility of generating MP3 or Ogg formats?... i'd like to listen and critique, but refuse to download anything from apple.. thanks! isaac
"RickRyan.com" <> wrote in message news:... > On Aug 26, 3:52 am, UkJay <> wrote: >> Hi >> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was >> inspired by walking round >> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) >> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result >> in another song? >> >> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any >> feedback on the song or the recording of it? >> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace >> later ) >> >> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari >> >> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk > > Even without listening to it, do not EVER EVER EVER state publicly > that your song "was inspired by x". If you ever d<snip> Dont listen to this dumb piece of shit, matey. He hasn't got a clue Your song sounds fine. Good luck with it......
Hi I've just finished the remix of "Try It On" yeh it's titled "Try It On - Remix" I hope that all the advice given has paid off with this version? I would be very interested on any more feedback of this remix - Thanks It's at the same place - Overplay http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari James http://www.ukjay.co.uk On 26 Aug, 09:52, UkJay <> wrote: > Hi > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > inspired by walking round > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > in another song? > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > feedback on the song or the recording of it? > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > later ) > > http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari > > Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk
On Aug 30, 1:35 am, " na" <na@ na.com> wrote: > "RickRyan.com" <> wrote in message > > news:... > > > > > On Aug 26, 3:52 am, UkJay <> wrote: > >> Hi > >> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was > >> inspired by walking round > >> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on" ;-) > >> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result > >> in another song? > > >> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any > >> feedback on the song or the recording of it? > >> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace > >> later ) > > >>http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari > > >> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk > > > Even without listening to it, do not EVER EVER EVER state publicly > > that your song "was inspired by x". If you ever d<snip> > > Dont listen to this dumb piece of shit, matey. He hasn't got a clue > > Your song sounds fine. > > Good luck with it...... This is what happens when you cross post.You get useless advice from the worst internet troll in the business, Nick Andrews.
