Post-Something-Funny Thread!

Dec 4, 2007
Reaction score
Yeah.. self-explanatory title!


etc etc...

Anyway. To start off: some funny musician jokes I found!

A violinist says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my violin."
His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!"

What is a burning oboe good for? Setting a bassoon on fire.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain? Gifted.

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trombonist's car? Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

Heard backstage: "Will the musicians and the drummer please come to the stage!"

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?" "Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all."
The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?" "Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!"
The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"
"Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved the way he held me!"

Hahahahahaaaa... aaah. :D

Anyone else?
Dec 20, 2007
Reaction score
An accordian player came home one night and parked his car on the street. He woke up one morning and realised that he'd left his accordian on the back seat of the car. He lived in a rather shady neighbourhood, and fearing the worst he ran out to his car to see that a window had been smashed in. He looked into the car and saw that there were now two accordians on the back seat.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.

How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
Place a sheet of music in front of him.
Jul 18, 2007
Reaction score
As i've heard this really happened...

On some gig a guy announced the band with this sentence:

"And now, here come the musicians.... and the drummer."
Sep 26, 2007
Reaction score
Drummer jokes it is then? *glares*

Two drummers walk into a building... You would have thought atleast on of them would have seen it.

What is the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only need to punch the information into the drum machine once.

What do you do when a drummer knocks on your door? Pay him for the pizza.

How do you know a drummer is knocking on your door? The knocking speeds up.

At a live gig the band didn't go on stage when announced so the manager goes backstage and sees the bassist and the drummer argueing. The manager asks them what is wrong and the bassist says: "He detuned one my strings!" So the managers tells him to just tune it back up again and the bassist says: "But he won't tell me which one!"

A violinist and a violist gets into an arguments about who is the better musician. The violinist says: "Oh yeah, if you are so good I'd like to see you play 16th notes!" The violist says okay and plays one.

Well, that is all I can remember for now.
Jan 3, 2019
Reaction score
turtle 1385931_659484034085362_1282195341_n.jpg
Nov 19, 2019
Reaction score
Reading about cockatoos in another thread prompted this:

I went into a pet shop last week and asked the young lady behind the counter if she'd had a cockatoo in lately. That's how I got this black eye.

I said to the doctor, "I broke my arm in two places." He says, "Well, don't go to them any more."

Ask a Question

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

You'll need to choose a username for the site, which only take a couple of moments. After that, you can post your question and our members will help you out.

Ask a Question

Members online

No members online now.

Forum statistics

Latest member

Latest Threads