Low Relief

[Oriane Lima]

Here is my first post:

https://soundcloud.com/orianelima/low-relief

Low Relief, is a gentle music with a jazzy rhythm, 82rpm, a little long, perhaps (10 min). But if you listen closely in the second part of the song, there are delicate improvisations with very sharp diatonic nuances. To tell the truth, I was enjoying myself so much that I could not stop playing. Hope y'll like it.
I edited and change the link from Box to Soundcloud, as sugested by Gary.

 

[happyrat1]

Unless it's a soundcloud or a youtube link I don't click on unknown file downloads.

Sorry Oriane... I'll have to take a pass.

Gary

 

[Oriane Lima]

Hi, Gary. You suggested it. I apologize for the lack of attention. Here is the link to the song on soundcloud,

https://soundcloud.com/orianelima/low-relief

 

[happyrat1]

Hi again Oriane,

You asked for a critique so I won't pull any punches.

I realize the tunes were experimental and that you wanted to get them posted as quickly as possible, but here's a couple of suggestions to make your works a little more enjoyable.

Firstly, low relief runs about 5 minutes too long to be an easy listen and your other piece Long Beach, Almost Blue, while a more listenable length, and overall I find your pieces somewhat lacking in fundamental harmonic and rhythmic structure.

While I understand improvisational jazz requires a certain degree of dischord and disharmony, usually this is bracketed in a piece by more traditional rhythmic structures acting as a bridge or improvisational solo in the middle of the piece.

Your work shows potential and a fairly nuanced understanding of accidentals in jazz, but one must be careful not to overdo it else one risks descending into a mindless cacaphony of unstructured and disharmonious unpleasantness which leaves the listener feeling alienated and unable to decipher what was the original intent of the composition in the first place.

I'd say you are working in the right direction, but don't be afraid of using cliched harmonies and rhythms and structures in your tunes as well. Sometimes in our quest to sound original we overlook the fundamental fact that most music is truly a cliche to begin with.

That's my two cents worth

Gary

 

[Oriane Lima]

It is true Gary, those are songs that are part of my playful weakness for music. Thanks for the thorough analysis that you expended in the evaluation and thanks for your suggestions. Interestingly, I totally abstract when I hear Low Relief, and do something else with it playing in the background. It strikes me as something soft and melodious. I even feel a certain peace that calms me (like, when I hear "Blue Bossa") but this of course, is personal. You are completely right in relation to its structure, duration and bridge. It runs completely out as to the traditional form. I may not have much time to study and correct all those deficiencies. Perhaps the best way is to continue having fun.

 

[Rayblewit]

Hi Oriane,
I listened. I am just an amateur musician too. I have no right to be critical so l will not. I am not qualified.
Having said that, l agree with what Gary said.
On the brighter side, I can see you playing that (in my mind). I can see you are enjoying it. Improvising as you go along. I do that too.
It is a very nice sound you have created. However, I don't think it is a no1 hit. (Just yet).
Have fun. Keep posting. Cheers

 

[Oriane Lima]

Ray, thank you for your comment, very fair. Thank you.